Marriage is a string held by two persons with a lot of effort, compromise and love. The strength of the string depends solely on all these things. So, does there exist an ideal marriage?
No, practically it cannot happen. When two persons are indulged in a marriage, along with them occurs the cohesion of thoughts, beliefs and interests. And it is not necessary to have similar thoughts and interests between the individuals. A bride walking down the aisle looking at her groom who is waiting for her, both of them thinking only of the blissful times they are going to have after that ceremony. Just waiting for the ceremony to end just to buy the time for each other.
So unaware of the post-marriage situation. What happens to this eagerness after few years? Is marriage “a happy marriage” only on the day of the wedding? It completely depends on you. How much you understand your spouse. It is important to comprehend the ‘us’ factor in the relationship. No one likes to live a stereotype life whether it be a pre-marriage or post marriage situation. Things can be exhilarating as you both experience new ‘firsts’ together- First Christmas, dinner with In-laws, New year, and even your arguments as a married couple. Specifically, your centre shifts from love towards family and it is very common. New things get adding up in your married life which may start reducing the spark between you and your partner. So, to keep up the spark you can try the following things.
1. Travel with your spouse
In a day-to-day routine you are generally engaged with office work or household stuff. You barely get the right amount of quality time to spend with your spouse. But sometimes you need to put these things off the table to make up with your spouse. If your spouse is a housewife, then spending the time wandering in the house, cooking and doing other household chores makes her feel irritated sometimes. So to rejuvenate, take your significant ones to malls, for a long drive, eat pizza together, and spend some cherishable moments with each other. Travelling is always adventurous. You click tons of photograph, eat food you like and more importantly, spend quality time with each other. And today, travelling with your significant other means loads of sublime memories to talk about when you reach home. This helps to seclude the boredom which keeps on developing between you two. Also, it makes you both feel fresh about yourself and each other. Travelling often makes your life more joyful and adventurous. Also, you start to enjoy the company of your significant other even better.
2. Go out on dates
Who doesn’t want to be on a romantic date with the one they love? Every wife wants to be treated as a girlfriend and every husband wants to be treated as a boyfriend. After marriage the only relationship that exist is of ‘husband and wife’, which is filled with several responsibilities. You need to understand that responsibilities are a part of life that you can never ignore. So, you need to ease out a bit. These responsibilities are ‘constant companions’ of yours. So you have to deter your mind from these responsibilities sometimes. Take your spouse to a romantic date to re-live your “cupid memories”. Going out on dates always proves to be very effective in keeping the ember in your married life lit. A date makes you both feel delighted and more passionate for each other. It also keeps the relationship between young and romantic.
3. Make yourself look attractive
‘Attraction is not love’. It’s true. But every love commence with an attraction. The person first gets attracted to a certain trait of yours and then falls for you. As a girlfriend or a boyfriend you always seek for your partner’s compliment about your looks. You always want to catch your partner’s eye. So, what happens to this attitude after marriage? Doesn’t marriage sounds more like ‘mission accomplished’? Now there is no need to put efforts on yourself to look attractive as you are at the secure side after tying a knot. Isn’t it? There is no doubt that your partner loves you beyond this attractive look. But if you make yourself look pleasing to them, then it is also true that they cannot avert their attention from you. And being a married one you know it doesn’t happen often. It doesn’t take anything, rather adds extra attention to your partner. And it is also a smart step to pull your partner on bed when you want a romantic night
4. Be like best friends
Friendship can never be boring. Just remember the moment when you met your old friend after a long time. You still bear the same enthusiasm for them as a teenage boy/girl. This ‘enthusiasm’ is very important for a long term relationship. Have you ever thought about why this happens? This is because there is no testing of ‘amour propre’(ego). Try to build the same bond with your spouse to enjoy your married life at the fullest. Do random talks, play games, indoor or outdoor. Do playful cheating to win your chance in the game. Don’t hit the bottle solo, rather drink with your spouse, go for clubs together and match the outfits with each other. When you are bored you want to talk to your friend. When you feel low you go to your friend, and you are never fed up of doing this. Then why not establish the same bond with your spouse? This can retain your joyfulness in your married life.
5. Do impulsive things
Being spontaneous can help you magically. Making decisions on a sudden whim can boost and even enhance your creative moments. As we know that planned outings are very uncertain. So, taking your spouse to a ride/drive suddenly in the middle of the day or night proves very interesting. Make plans on-the-spot, do unexpected things just to make your spouse a little happier. Suddenly calling your friends at night and hosting a party on the spot fills the air with extreme energy. You and your significant other become very excited to throw that spontaneous party. The happiness of your partner can be seen from ear to ear, cheering, laughing and kissing you. These impulsive decisions take the spark of your life to the next level. And makes you more energetic.
6. Try some new positions
If you don’t stoke the fire every now and then with something new in the bedroom, the heat could die out entirely. Having regular sex proves to be the most lethal weapon for a spicy married life. Most couples have the mentality that after marriage the spark or the romance has evaporated from their partner’s life. But it is not like that. He/she is the same person, it is just the introduction of a new schedule, and kids in the scenario which subsided the easy sexual chemistry. To ignite the old romance, try something new and pleasurable for you and your partner. Add new ingredients to the old recipe to make it a bit spicy. Try a different sex position apart from the monotonous one. A good sex life adds up to a happy and successful married life. Try Face to face, lying stacked, he/she or you on the top are some commonest one to begin from. Bring a variation by trying reverse missionary, reverse cowgirl, and many more. Cuddling your spouse often gives them the vibe that you care for them. Everyone loves a good cuddle before falling asleep. Remember these little things in life always adds up to big results. Just rediscover the taste of your partner’s body and never be afraid to try something new.
7. Be a bit flirty
You want to spice things up a bit in your married life? Healthy flirting is the key to the door you are seeking. Flirting defines the interest you are having in your partner. It is fun to flirt and make your partner crimson red. Flirting gives a tickling feeling in your stomach. It reminds you of what you love about your partner. Flirting makes you remember your old days and makes you fall in love with your partner all over again. Flirting perhaps also paves the way for the conversation on the best memories of your love journey. It makes your relationship younger and make you and your spouse more than just companions. Flirting acts like the wood in the fire of your married life.
8. Tell the things you like about them
Everyone wants to get appreciated for the things they work really hard for. Appreciating each other is important in a relationship. Appreciating your spouse on little things in your day-to-day life adds to a healthy and happy married life. It is just about the positive effect that it creates that makes your partner really happy. Have you seen the love and happiness in your partner’s face when you compliment them? They feel so fulfilled from within. Passing truthful and a bit naughty complements is the key. Just telling how passionate his kiss was, or how sexy she looked in a particular outfit, makes them dance from inside. It makes your spouse completely enamoured with you. Always have a thankful attitude towards your spouse. Never take them for granted. It will do magic for you and your spouse. They will never be able to resist to fall in love with you.
9. Let somethings be unresolved
Does everything in your life go according to you? Never. It is said that communication is the key to understanding each other and also to reach a common point. But it is not always true. John Gottman, a relationship researcher says in almost all of his books: “The idea that couples communicate and resolve all their problem is a myth.” The problem in this is, you are trying to change the person to make him/her appropriate for love. And this should be avoided in a long-run relationship. You must understand that the person you love is the same just the situation and the responsibilities have changed. You need to apprehend that some battles are not worth fighting. And there will always be things which you will never like in your partner. So, instead of investing in ‘non-changeable’ part of your partner, focus on the positive things to overshadow this disliked part. This will make you and your partner devoted and affectionate towards each other.
Relationship is not just a straight line bond. There are many irregular crest and troughs along the journey. And these irregularities either drifts you apart or brings you very close to your partner without any spacebar. Have you ever conceived why life becomes sparkles after marriage? You are just accepting your choice as your husband/wife. Then what has changed much? The person you fell in love is still in there with the same sex appeal and love. It’s just that the regular schedule has changed. Now you have a family to run you are no more a teenage girl or a boy. You have become a man/woman with multiple titles: Husband/wife, daughter in law, son in law, mother/father etc. Many things or persons are starting to fill the space in the frame. Earlier, there was an undivided attention for you when you used to be with your partner. But now with you comes your loveable kids and your family. Also after being together for years you and your partner must have discovered every taste of each other. But even after this, married life can be thrilling. It just requires your right efforts. After all it is not that you don’t eat the same food after trying it once or you don’t listen to the same song several times. It’s just that you need to become proactive and swing things up. Eventually your spouse is your ‘choice of love’. So, live up to the commitment you made to him/her and show how married life can be made colorful and spicy!